Step 1

For those of you who do not know, Syed is determined that Syed Brian will be potty trained by the tender age of 12 months. Many have tried to reason with Syed that this may not be realistic, but he is not having it. So, he is already beginning Syed Brian's training regimen. He is starting to encourage Syed Brian to stand on his own, so that he can walk himself right into the bathroom as soon as possible. He seems to be making progress, as Syed Brian is using only the couch for support.

Did you hear the one about the mean mommy?

Syed Brian: I really, really love laying on my gym mat, playing with the rattle!

Charlie: He does that for hours...it must be fun, but I don't get it.

Monica: It's tummy time!!! Here we go!

Syed Brian: Noooooooooooooooo. Please, not again!!!!

Charlie: Big human, don't you ever learn - he hates this and it disrupts the peace. Simon is leaving me alone, he is not barking, and I'm enjoying my Saturday afternoon.

Syed Brian: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! If I do this for about a minute, she will turn me back over and I can go back to having fun.

Monica: You're doing great! Keep it up! Push up on your arms, you can do it!!!

Syed Brian: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!! WAAAHHHHHH! What is taking so long! Usually she has turned me over by now. I'm starting to get really mad. WAAAHHHHHHHH.

Charlie: Hurry up - turn him over, I can't take it!

Monica: It's only been 2 minutes, hang in there! I love you - it's for your own good.

Simon: I really want to take my dingo bones and run away. I've had enough of this nonsense.

Syed Brian: I. Can't. Do. This.

Monica: Calm down - you're okay.

Charlie: Maybe he needs a kiss - I think I'll lick his leg - that will make him feel better and stop crying.

Syed Brian: AAAHHH. Wah. Wah. She doesn't love me anymore.

Monica: I love you.

Syed Brian: I guess I'll give up. Crying isn't working. She must love this evil form of torture called tummy time.

Monica: Okay, let's turn you over now that you're done crying!

Charlie: He's alive!!! I must lick him even more to show him how worried I am!

Syed Brian: I'm not going to look at you, Mom. Ever. You don't deserve my love. You left me on my tummy for 10 minutes. And I can't even roll over. You are the meanest mommy EVER!

Monica: It's okay, buddy - only another 10 minutes and we're done for the day!

Syed Brian: When do you leave for another business trip? I want to hang out with my dad. He's nice.

I hate seagulls.

I now hate seagulls. This is a new-found hatred, and I blame my son. In order for Syed Brian to sleep, he needs some sort of white noise in the background. In a moment of infinite wisdom, Syed and I purchased an alarm clock that also doubles as a sound machine. It includes six nature sounds from which to choose. Syed Brian prefers the ocean noise to sleep.

Like many parents, Syed and I have a monitor in our room so that we can hear Syed Brian when he wakes up. It is a very sensitive monitor, and it picks up the ocean noise from the sound machine. The first few nights, Syed and I enjoyed the sound of the ocean and congratulated ourselves on being extremely resourceful - we only had to buy one sound machine and two bedrooms benefit from the soothing sounds!!!

And then I started to hate seagulls. You see, about every 3-4 minutes on the ocean sounds, a flock of seagulls flies overhead. So, when you can't sleep, or when you're trying desperately to catch another 10 minutes of peace before the day begins, you start to hear seagulls. And you hear more seagulls. And then you start to hate seagulls because they never fly away...they circle overhead and make seagull noise every 3-4 minutes right on schedule.

Simon and Charlie are extremely confused by the seagulls, too. They thought we lived in the midwest, not on an ocean coast. We've tried to explain it to them, but they are perplexed. We finally just told them that the seagulls are a result of the little human. They did not thank us for the seagulls nor the little human. In due time...

We're going to Hawaii in 3 months. I really hope the seagulls space out their flights overhead by at least 10 minutes. Or we're going to be in trouble.

Speed Racer

We're already preparing for the inevitable increase in our insurance premiums if he drives anything like his father.

Dear Syed Brian (vol. 1 iss. 4)

To commemorate your four-month milestone, your father and I took you to the doctor for your check up. You were a happy, social little guy right up until it was time for your immunizations. So, I held your arms down while a medical assistant administered the vaccinations. You were so mad that you turned red! And I mean really red! You then looked at me as if I was the most horrible person to ever walk the face of the earth as a single tear ran down your cheek. But the single tear soon had company as a full flood of tears followed along with screams that emptied the waiting room. But not to worry, I didn’t feel too guilty…I just got on an airplane and left you with your dad. Trust me, I’m not being cold hearted – immunizations are for your own good and everyone else’s.

Over the past month, you found your personality to an even greater degree. You love to smile and even laugh once in a while. In fact, you laughed for the first time a week or so ago. It caught you, your dad, and me by surprise. None of us expected it but we are glad that we heard it. You were fascinated by this new type of sound that was coming out of your mouth. Unfortunately, you haven’t been able to replicate it as frequently as your dad and I would like. But we know that it’s in there…it’s just a matter of finding out what is funny enough to make you giggle. You continue to work on talking, too. If you talk as much as you coo, we’re going to have to answer about 2,483 questions per day in my estimation. And we’ll look forward to answering each one to your complete satisfaction (or not).

You have also found the greatest toy in the world: your hands! Yes, those things with five fingers at the end of your arms are apparently quite entertaining…and tasty. You spend significant amounts of time grasping your hands together and chewing on your fists. Some babies suck on one finger or thumb…not you. You prefer the entire hand. But you do more than chew on your hand – you also use them to play with rattles and other types of toys. This newfound ability to hold things with your hands has only served as reassurance to Simon and Charlie that one day you will actually serve some sort of purpose for them. For Simon, of course, it is throwing his toys whereas Charlie is desperately hoping for food to be dropped from your high chair.

No longer does your head bob around and almost fall off your neck. Yes, you have figured out how to hold your head steady, turn it from side to side, and nod up and down. While all babies learn how to do it, you have managed to do it with a cranium that accounts for approximately 91.84% of your total surface area. You see, your head size is only continuing to grow. It is now well above the 100th percentile for circumference and requires you to wear hats that are at least size 12-18 months. We’re hoping that the rest of your body catches up, eventually. If not, we’ll just be sure to always purchase vehicles with ample headroom.

In all seriousness, you’ve become a lot more fun to be around. You’re sleeping through the night about 75% of the time and this makes for a much happier mom and dad so that could also contribute to us thinking you’re more fun. You continue to change on a daily basis and teach us something new every day. For example, we had no idea just how interesting ceiling fans were until we rediscovered them through your eyes. So, thank you for allowing us to see things with new perspectives. I have a much greater appreciation for the little things such as the utility of an opposable thumb, the way a breeze feels when it brushes against your face, and the way Simon and Charlie feel when your hand touches them. As always, we love you, buddy (even when I hold you down and allow needles to pierce your quadriceps). Until next month…

Love,
Mom

He doesn't need us (to sleep).

There are about 837 theories on how to instill good sleep hygiene in your child. We have followed exactly 0 theories for Syed Brian. We certainly don't know what we're doing, but it doesn't really matter because he knows what to do. On several occasions, we have given up trying to coax him to sleep because we can't quite figure out what he wants. When this occurs, we simply put him in his crib and he puts himself to sleep. It turns out, he is much more effective at putting himself to sleep than we are. So we made the decision to nurture this new-found independence.

We're hoping that this self-sufficient attitude that he is developing will carry over into other areas. Wouldn't it be great if he decided that I sucked at doing his laundry and took the task on himself? Wouldn't it also be fantastic if he realized how awful we are at changing diapers so he decided to start using the toilet? I would also fully support his decision to start walking the dogs as a way to help around the house. His father would fully support any motivation he might have to take on a part-time job. Wouldn't it also be appropriate for him to decide that he should start giving himself his baths, too? This new-found independence may be a very good thing as he grows. In the meantime, he needs a good night's sleep. That is the current task at hand and he is doing it quite well.




By the way, this picture was taken with the night vision function on our camera...we don't have night vision goggles in case you were wondering.

Good Times

It's Syed, and here is my first official blog post. The other Syed had a first today, too. He discovered that he has the ability to laugh. You remember that Monica said babies smile at just the right time to prevent mothers from eating their young, right? Well, I learned that babies laugh at just the right time to prevent fathers from eating their young, too. After the past two days of non-stop screaming, Syed Brian redeemed himself as you can see in the video.

Happy Hour

Friday, late afternoon.

Syed Brian's own private Happy Hour.

He needs it after a long week with his dad while his mom was on a business trip. You can clearly see he is a heavy drinker and he's ready for another round. He might need a 12-step formula detoxification program. If he continues on his current pattern, he will be drinking 30-36 ounces a day. We clearly need to stage an intervention. However, it will have to wait. The good music is just getting started on his CD-player mounted on his crib.

Dirty Dachshund

Simon received a bath last weekend. As you can see, he was extremely apprehensive prior to the event. Simon despises baths and he tries desperately to channel his inner squirrel to avoid them. When I say he has an inner squirrel, I mean he will climb anything and everything he can to get away from the water. He believes in his little heart of hearts that baths were designed to torture little dogs. And he might be right....after all, it is warm water that makes you lose all of the scents that you work so hard to gain when you're a dog. Charlie received a bath, too. There's not a picture of Charlie pre or post bath because he was basically just a blur of dark fur. Really, it looked kind of like a hedgehog running around the room.