Motherhood: The first 100 days

Much press has been given to Barack Obama's first 100 days in office. It is good timing that this benchmark coincides nicely with my first 100 days of motherhood. For the record, I had a head start as I began my new role about 48 hours before President Obama began his new job. As I cross this threshold and enter the eternity that motherhood will last, I've had time to reflect on the joy, misery, wonder, mystery, and curiosity that my new role entails. You may wonder how I have had any time to reflect given that I am now a wife, mother, and full-time manager who is back at work...the simple answer: airports. It is much more pleasant to focus on internal thoughts rather than the craziness, insanity, and general unhappiness that often manifests in airports. (for those of you who fly frequently, you know what I mean)

My past 100 days has made me consider the following aspects of being a parent. Babies really don't care who you are, what education you have, or the credentials you have to be a parent. Babies can entertain an entire room of adults endlessly by doing essentially nothing (I wish I could do this as effectively). Babies can scream. Loudly. And they can scream for no reason. (I wish I could do this). Babies remind you that there is joy and wonder in the small things. Babies remind you just how precious a smile is. Babies start to smile at the exact right time so that mothers will resist the urge to eat their young (non-mothers may think I'm crazy, but fellow mothers probably know what I'm talking about). Babies make you recognize and appreciate your own humanity.

My past 100 days has also made me want to develop several new features in baby gear. Baby monitors that come with a snooze button. Bottles that don't leak. Bottles that wash themselves. Laundry that is self-cleaning. Expandable baby clothes that grow with the child. Odor eaters in diapers.

My past 100 days has made me learn much about myself, too. I was not always a joy to my parents when I was a child (I'm really sorry, Mom and Dad). You don't have to talk to someone to get to know them - sometimes observing and just being with them is enough. Nothing beats a good cuddle. My own mortality is inevitable. Sometimes I really just want to scream for no good reason (fortunately my husband understand why I have this urge). Establishing a new family is hard; but it's the also the best job to be able to establish your own norms, values, and traditions (the possibilities are endless!).

President Obama may have taken on the economy, conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, global warming, taxes, and now the swine flu, but I think my first 100 days were more important. After all, who else has the opportunity to get to know and raise a child blessed with amazing cowlicks, a smile that can melt your heart in an instant and an ability to leap tall buildings in a single bound (really - he can - I mean, he has the cape and everything!)? Syed Brian is not perfect, nor will he be perfect when he grows up. But he is and will be unique and precious in exactly the way he was meant to be. And he will thrive in this crazy experience we call life. And he will do it in spite of his parents - that is what I've learned in my first 100 days.

Conversation

Syed: Do you want me to get up with Syed Brian tonight?

Monica: I don't care. I can wake up with him.

Syed: Well, you don't have to do anything tomorrow.

Monica: Only take care of the baby, clean the house, do laundry, walk the dogs, go grocery shopping, pick up the drycleaning, cook dinner, wash the car, clean the refrigerator, clean the bathrooms, clear closets, mop the floors, wash the windows. But really, that's not much. I'll get up with him.

Syed: You know what I mean...you don't have to do anything tomorrow. I mean, you don't have to go anywhere. I mean, you know. Well, you don't have to work tomorrow. Shut up, Syed.

Monica: Thank you. Have fun getting up at 3:00 am.

Charlie: Dude, even I know you shouldn't have gone there with that conversation. And I'm a dog.

Dear Syed Brian (vol. 1 iss. 3)

Here it is, the end of month 3, and you continue to do well, in spite of your parents. Your father and I often look at one another and wonder how we haven’t completely messed you up yet...but don’t worry, we still have a lot of time to change that. Over the past month, you have become an even happier, more smiley baby. We think that your smiles are because you are so happy to have us as your mom and dad, and to have Simon and Charlie as your dogs. However, it could be that you smile because you know how crazy we are and you like to humor us. Either way, we’ll take it. The smiles help us get up with you another night, and help us change another diaper. Speaking of getting up at night, you are teasing us a bit by making us think that you’ll start sleeping through the night. During this past month, you slept through the night 3 times...consecutively! But it was just a tease because on the fourth night, you were up twice in the middle of the night. Nonetheless, it makes us hopeful that soon we will all be enjoying 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep. When that happens, everyone will be a little happier and more relaxed. Your third month saw you grow tremendously – you are now wearing 6-month clothes. We have also realized that we must be careful when selecting clothing styles for you as only certain types will fit over your head. Because of that, you discovered that you prefer to go without clothes. One of your favorite things to do this month is to play on a blanket or your quilt while you are wearing nothing but your diaper. It makes you extremely happy to be able to exercise your arms and legs without the restriction of clothing. We’re perfectly okay indulging this now, but please realize that there will come a time when clothing is not optional…after all, even your Uncle Brad began wearing clothing on a regular basis. I know it’s hard to believe that society does not accept diaper-clad little boys running around, but it’s true. Anyway, I’m sure that we’ll revisit this conversation when you are 2-3 years old. Over the past month, you have adjusted to spending your days with your father. I went back to work and left you in the very capable hands of your dad, who is happy to have a sidekick. You and your dad have already had a few adventures: going to the office a couple of times, taking drives in the Camry, and surviving some life-threatening diaper changes. Now, before you get too worried, your life was never threatened by the diaper changes but your father thought his was. Your dad is quite amazed with what your little digestive system is able to produce. Even Simon and Charlie are a little taken aback with what you can produce. However, that is neither here nor there… moving on. You celebrated your first Easter a few weeks ago. The Easter Bunny was good to you, and made sure to stop at two houses this year just to make sure you know how loved you are. Yes, that’s right, the Easter Bunny found Grandma and Grandpa Fay’s house in addition to Grandma and Grandpa Azhar’s house. You were quite excited to see all of your Easter presents and thanked the Easter Bunny with a couple of rounds of “coos.” You have become more vocal this month, and the “coos” are more frequent as you communicate with us. You prefer for us to look you in the eye and talk to you. When we do that, you respond in kind. Sometimes, you respond with a coo, and other times you respond with a pouty lip. The response sort of depends on the topic of conversation. You like conversations about fishing, eating, sporting events, and your dogs. You dislike conversations about shopping, sleeping, and clothes. I think it is very safe to say that the y-chromosome is working well for you, if your preferred topics of conversation are any indication. We’ve had a lot of fun with you this month, buddy, and we can’t wait to see how much you change in the coming weeks. With the weather warming up, we’ll get to take more walks and show you more things. You and your dad will have even more adventures as I start traveling again for work this coming month. The Azhar men are sure to have many stories in the coming weeks, and I am just lucky to be an observer (and sometimes a participant). You have blessed us in more ways that you will ever know and thank you for humoring us with your sweet smile. So, keep smiling, little one, because your mom and dad need it to survive another day. And life is too short if you don’t have a smile. Until next month…
Love,
Mom

Holy Crap!

I'm 3 months old!

His Skills Continue to Improve

Syed Brian no longer concentrates on spitting up on himself; he wants to let everyone in on the fun. Uncle Brad would be proud - he still shows no emotion when he spits up, yet the volume (at times) and occasionally the velocity are something to behold. You can only imagine how excited Syed was to be holding his son at this point in time.

Second Cousins

Role Reversal

I started back to work last week so posting will probably become less frequent as there were more than 2000 emails waiting for me upon my return...it's a little crazy. And before you start worrying about the fate of Syed Brian, he is in good hands: his father's. Syed is transitioning into the primary caregiver role for little Syed. They are four working days into it, and all seems to be going well so far. Both Syeds are enjoying the time together and are establishing a new routine that doesn't involve me near as much as it did. Syed Brian is extremely efficient at breaking his father into his new routine and he makes sure that his dad doesn't miss a beat. Syed Brian is lucky to have such a hands-on dad and we feel fortunate that Syed can spend a fair amount of time at home with him. It will make me significantly more comfortable once my business travel picks up again in a couple of weeks. So, it's been a fun few months, but duty calls. Syed will be taking over primary blog responsibilities, too, at least that is the goal.

Sweet Dreams

Even though Syed Brian is growing quickly, he still fits nicely in his daddy's arms. It's one of his favorite places to fall asleep and take a nap. I think his dad likes it, too.