The Way We Were

(Cue Violin...)

Simon: Do you remember how life used to be?

Charlie: You mean when we lived with only two humans and there was an even ratio of humans to dachshunds?

Simon: Yes. And the dingo bones were endless as were the number of walks we got to take.

Charlie: And we got to have humans attend to our every whim. It was a magical time, truly magnificent.

Simon: But the new human doesn't even take the time to play with us. He won't throw us our toys, he won't play tug of war, and he certainly doesn't give us dingo bones. He invaded our house! He interrupts our sleep, he doesn't have the decency to share his toys, and he won't share his food. He doesn't talk to us, he doesn't pet us, and he is pretty much worthless as far as I can tell. We need to find new humans that don't have a miniature human being lying around doing nothing. I say we plot our escape.

Charlie: Don't be stupid. I've been on the streets and, trust me, we still have a pretty decent life. We still have the humans fooled into paying some attention to us. And we still get scrambled eggs for breakfast at least twice a week. Besides, it's cold outside. Perhaps when it's warmer and we can sun ourselves on the pavement we can make a break for it.

Simon: You're right. Let's hide in the living room. Maybe they'll miss us. If they don't come to find us, at least we get to lay in the sun.