Road Trip

10:01 AM. Depart for Sun Prairie

10:06 AM. Unscheduled stop at McDonald's

10:07 AM. Syed enters McDonald's. Syed Brian: waaahhh. waaaaahhhhhh. waahh.

10:09 AM. Charlie: I'm starving. I hope the large human brings me some scrambled eggs. Simon: I can't see! I can't see! I have to climb on the medium-sized human with long hair to look out the window. Syed Brian: Waaahhh. Waahh. Monica: Calm down. Big Syed will be back shortly and we'll leave again.

10:13 AM. Simon: I've got to poop!!!! Syed Brian: WAAAHHH. WAAAAAAAHHHHHH. I HATE THESE PEOPLE WHO PUT ME IN THIS SEAT! Charlie: I'm still starving - does anyone care? Monica: I said CALM DOWN! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN! YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD TIME!

10:15 AM. Syed returns to car, enters above scene. Simon: I'VE GOT TO POOP! LET ME OUT OR I'LL POOP ON THE FLOOR OF THE CAR! Charlie: Let me at the big human - he has food - I can smell it. MUST. HAVE. FOOD. Syed Brian: WAAAHHH. WAAAAHHHH. THEY FORGOT THAT I'M HERE. WAAHHH. WAAAHH. Monica: We need to go. Now. Simon: I'm pooping! You people didn't listen to me. Clean your floor mats. That should teach you to ignore a dachshund.

10:16 AM. Car departs. Syed: WAIT! I must check the order. Monica: I can't pull back in - there's a car behind me. Syed: CANADIAN BACON!!!! NO!!! MORONS! I said cheese and egg, NO MEAT. Syed Brian: WAAAHHHH. WAAAHHH. MOVE THE CAR NOW OR I WILL NEVER LOVE YOU. Simon and Charlie: Sniff, sniff, sniff. EGGS!!!! Monica: We're not going back. Syed: YES, we are. Monica: NO, we're not.

10:18 AM. At stop light. Syed: IDIOTS! How hard is it to make an egg mcmuffin without meat?!? Forget it - we're going home. It's not *!&*% worth it. Syed Brian: Waahhh. waahh. Monica: I won't eat. We'll throw away the egg mc muffins. Syed: NO. You will be cranky and I'm not dealing with it. IDIOTS - I SAID NO MEAT!

10:20 AM. Monica: Do you want to call the corporate office of McDonald's? Syed: Only you do such things when onions are involved. I'm rational. Just eat the egg mc muffin. Monica: No. We're throwing it away. Just remember that I love you. Did you hear me?!? I said I LOVE YOU.

10:23 AM. Syed Brian: waah. waaahh. Simon: What's wrong with the humans? They're in a bad mood. Charlie: I don't care. I just had scrambled eggs.

10:25 AM. The offending egg mc muffins are disposed of. Road Trip resumes. Monica: Thank you for the Diet Coke - I need the caffeine.

10:29 AM. Charlie: I'm thirsty. I think I'll try to drink out of the medium-sized human's drink. She seems to be enjoying it. Monica: CHARLIE! NO! Syed: CHARLIE! NO! Simon: He's thirsty - back off! Syed Brian: These people are crazy.

10:32 AM. (cannot post on the Internet - inappropriate when Syed Brian can read)

10:48 AM. Calm enters the car.

12:57 PM. Arrival at destination.

Morals of the Story: Order breakfast sandwiches that do not contain any type of meat whatsoever so that McDonald's is not confused. Listen to Simon when he says he has to poop. Bring beverages for Charlie. Set aside A LOT of money for Syed Brian's therapy.